I haven't really been in the best mood for a while. It's pretty normal for me to have ups and downs, I've just been stuck in a funk for longer than usual. And I've been stuck in my own head, which never leads to anything good. So I figure maybe its time to purge my brain and see if it helps.
I feel like Hubs and I are drifting. Not really apart more like we're just stalled. I know that I am feeling lost since we are having such a hard time having a baby. Like since a baby isn't happening I don't know what to do now. I told my "other Mom" that trying to have a baby, in essence is ruining our lives. Overly dramatic sure any less true probably not. At the very least it is putting a huge strain on our relationship and driving me bonkers :) I don't really know what we're going to do on that front right now. We can't afford insurance so we don't have the means to find out if its something medical that can be treated or what. Being in this directionless limbo sucks!
We've been spending a ton of time with my in-laws, swimming and other outdoor stuff so that's been really nice this summer. It's bloody hot out so having access to a pool all the time is awesome. But let me tell you you haven't truly been living until your MIL asks you "When was your last period?" in front of FIL and Hubs. I pretty sure we were all horrified. It led to a very uncomfortable discussion of sex and other baby making related topics that I could have gone to the grave with out ever discussing in public. That's all I've got for now Friday i'm going to do some serious journaling so will have more to post.
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